Recycled Holiday Cheer

Happy Holidays Everyone!

Many of you, like me, are probably at home during this time of the year. 

Time with family is great, don't get me wrong! I like playing cribbage and electronic Battleship as much as the next guy.

But after the first couple of days of being surrounded by loved ones, that creeping feeling sinks back in...

...Must...craft...something...

So like Gollum to the Ring, I'm back, baby!

Why not spread some extra holiday cheer with these eco-friendly projects from "up-cycled" materials?

Materials:

1 string of small LED Christmas lights, 50ct (classic white shown here)

1 cardboard shirt box

Hot glue gun

Estimated cost: Practically free (~4$ for lights)

Time commitment: The time it takes to wrap 10 presents

Carbon footprint: I have no idea how to calculate this

Just to clarify the title of this post, it's the material that is recycled. Not the holiday cheer. That should be genuine.

First, breakdown your cardboard shirt box (you know, one of those boxes that they use to wrap up clothing from Macy's, etc. for the holidays). Use binder clips to hold the top, bottom and sides of the shirt box in place on top of one another, like so.

Now, trace out a festive holiday or wintry shape on top of the cardboard. An idyllic gingerbread house? Santa in his sleigh? I went with an old classic: a Christmas tree. Not only for its easy to recognize shape, but for the cyclic nature of re-making a tree out of a processed tree product. From whence you came, grand fir!

Once you've got your shape traced out, go to town with scissors or a box cutter. Just try to keep those side leaflets where the binder clips are intact! When you're done, you should have two identical cardboard Christmas tree cut-outs.

Next, cut the long leaflets of the box away from the remains of the box center where you cut out your traced shape. Fold each long leaflet into itself from the top and bottom, longways, so that you have bent strips of cardboard.

Now take one of the strips and cut pieces off to match the length of each bough of your tree. Using a hot glue gun, affix the bottom bent edge of the strip piece to one face of your tree. Repeat this process along each downward slant of each branch on your tree, using a new strip piece per branch. Leaving space between these cardboard framing pieces will allow light to shine down your tree with majestic glory.

Finish framing your tree by having a long strip piece go across the bottom of the tree. 

Cut a large "X" into the middle of this long framing piece; the use for this cut will become apparent in a bit. (Hint: This framed out area will eventually serve as the holding area for your Christmas lights).

Make the trunk of your tree stand on its own (or, at the very least, with limited assistance) by taking another side leaflet and folding it into a "U" shape. Hot glue the ends above and underneath the long framing piece at the base of your tree, and bend the U-shaped cardboard as needed.

Now, take your LED Christmas lights and stuff them into your Christmas tree frame. Try to have a lot of the actual lights along the edges of the frame, with a few interspersed in the middle of the tree. Take the pronged plug of the light string and press it through that "X" cut you made in the long framing piece. 

I should also note at this point that it would behoove you to use LED lights here, since they don't heat up when operated. Although a burning bush is great for religious symbolism, it is less great to wake up on Christmas morning and see one in your own home.

Finally, decorate the front cut out of your Christmas tree as you see fit. I would recommend poking holes into the front at random intervals with a ballpoint pen ("ornaments") so that light can shine through. You can also take scraps from your shirt box and use it as trim or fake snow on the tree. If I'd had green cellophane, I might have used that too. But I didn't.

Hot glue your front cut-out onto the top of the Christmas tree frame and press into place. Plug your Christmas tree into an extension cord and behold! You now have a festive holiday decoration that doubles as a nightlight! Stick that in your sleigh and fly it.

You could also give this as a gift if you were desperate. Just throwing it out there.

If you're tired and you don't want to read anymore, you can stop here. I won't mind. Seriously, I won't.

But before you go, just ask yourself: what would Santa do?

You and I both know that that extremely jolly fellow would persevere.

Grab another cardboard box and a double espresso. It's time to make some interactive Christmas cards.

Materials:

One cardboard shirt box

Colored card stock

Staples

Tape

Warm sentiments and wishes, to be written down

Estimated cost: Again, practically free

Time commitment: More than is probably necessary

Cut a large strip out the cardboard box about 5 inches wide. Cut the strip to about 15 inches long and then fold it into three equal parts, lengthwise. In the middle section of the strip, use a box cutter to cut out another festive scene, removing the small pieces as you go. Try to keep the design localized to the middle of this section, and leave some cardboard uncut at the top and bottom. If it wasn't already obvious, I like Christmas trees.

Take card stock of assorted colors and cut them into an interesting pattern of your choosing. Overlay the different pieces and tape them together on the back with scotch tape. Just make sure your card stock pieces cover your entire design from the front, including extra card stock above and below the design.

Cut out a new piece of cardboard about 2"x7". Remove rectangular pieces from the upper right and lower right corners of this cardboard strip, about 1.5"x2". If this is confusing, hopefully the cartoon and the picture will help! Next, staple your taped card stock to the new cardboard strip along one edge. Keep those staples out of sight on the front of the card!

Position your taped and stapled card stock / cardboard monstrosity above the middle section of your card, with the front of the card facing down. Fold the left panel of the card over the card stock. Use a pen to mark off there the little pull tabs fall on the top and bottom of this folded panel. Unfold and cut two sets of 1/2 inch slits about 1/4 inch apart (vertically) at these locations. Fold this panel back over and thread each pull tab through each set of slits as shown.

Tape the folded panel to the inside of the front panel along its edge. Write something relatively nice on a small piece of card stock and affix it to the panel you haven't touched yet. Don't forget to sign the card after all of this work!

Flip the card over and enjoy countless hours of entertainment! Pull the pull tabs up and down to change the pattern underneath your card design.

Oooohhh...

Aaaahhh...

Just be gentle with those tabs. This is one card you definitely won't want to make a second time.

Happy Holidays, and Happy Crafting!

Malbec Cranberry Sauce

Oh wow! It's already Thanksgiving!

...And I have made nothing. Fail.

Time to whip something together for tonight's dinner with my girlfriend's family! They'll never know that you and I made this last minute (unless they read this).

What's good in a pinch? Cranberries and wine. The definition of synergy.

Ingredients:

5+1c fresh cranberries

1c Trapiche oak cask Malbec

1/2c water

1c sugar

1 cinnamon stick

1tsp anise seed

Making this sauce should only take about 30 minutes, so you'll have plenty of time to travel (and swear at people driving 25 on the freeway), watch the 49ers crush the Seahawks, take a nap, etc.

Add 5 cups of cranberries to a medium sauce pot along with the sugar, wine, water and spices. Cover and cook on low for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Then, remove the saucepan's lid and cook over medium heat for about 15 minutes, stirring frequently. At this point the cranberries should bursting open, releasing their starch and naturally thickening the sauce. After the sauce thickens, add in the remaining cup of cranberries (for textural intrigue) and cook for an additional five minutes. Fish out the cinnamon stick and store the sauce in the fridge after it cools off.

Now you have a wonderful sauce suitable for any wintertime meal! And you also have an entire bottle of leftover Malbec. For those awkward yet lovely family moments. #SloppyThanksgiving #butdrinkresponsibly.

Before I stop talking and let you guys frantically make sauce, I just want you to take a brief moment and let someone know that you're thankful for them. My sister texted me this this morning, and it 100% made my day. No matter who you are, there's always someone to be thankful for!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! And Happy Crafting!

Mini Cherry Pies

Cherry pie. Almost as American as apple pie.

Just the word "pie" conjures up an image of a warm, buttery pie sitting on a window sill to cool while a light breeze wafts the aroma about the house (or apartment).

Maybe historically this was the best way to cool down pastries, but I have to wonder how many smashed pies resulted from teetering off of unstable window sills across this great nation. Gravity can be a real witch sometimes.

It was late summer this year, and at work we were having a bake sale to benefit the homeless in Westchester County. You would think that one of the top 10 richest counties in the U.S. wouldn't have such a big homeless problem... but you'd be wrong!

I decided to make cherry pie for my contribution, even though pie itself is kind of awkward to dole out at a bake sale. The best ones are obviously gooey and spill their contents everywhere as soon as you remove a slice. 

"Kyle, why didn't you just make something else?" you might ask. That's because you, the readers, are incredibly rational people (read: I am not). More importantly, huge bags of cherries were two for five at the store! Hooray for cheap summer produce!

My solution: two-inch cherry pies. Just like Mama used to make, if your mama baked everything to 1/12th the scale of normal baked goods.

Ingredients:

3/4 c dark brown sugar

4 tbsp cornstarch

5 c cherries, pitted and chopped

3 tbsp molasses

1 1/2 c whole wheat flour

1/2 tsp salt

3 tsp cinnamon

2 tsp ground clove

1 stick of unsalted butter, cold

5 tbsp Ice water

2-inch brownie tin

Time commitment: 30min inactive, 30min active, 10min hyperactive

Estimated cost: about $10 for 20 mini pies

First thing to do is to make the crust. Take a cold stick of butter and a pastry blender and go to town cutting up the butter into tiny balls of fat. Don't let the butter warm up or else your crust might not come out flaky!

Mix the flour in spices in a bowl and subsequently blend these ingredients into the butter with the pastry blender or with your hands. Once combined, shape the dough into a large ball and wrap it in wax paper. Place the dough in the fridge for 30min.

Next, make the pie filling by painstakingly cutting all of those delectable cherries in half and removing the pits. Pits will not contribute positively to the gooey consistency of your pie.

Coarsely chop up half of the cherries by hand and put the other half in a food processor to be lightly pureed. This will give you nice a mix of textures throughout your pie filling ranging from chunky to slushy.

Put the all of the cherries in a saucepan and stir in the molasses. Heat of high for about 5 minutes to extract all of those cherry juices. In a separate bowl, mix the brown sugar and cornstarch together until they are well combined. Then, add the sugar starch mix into the bubbling cherries and boil for an additional minute, stirring more than occasionally. Remove the pie filling from heat and allow to cool completely.

Take your chilled pie dough out of the fridge and roll it out into a single layer about 1/4 inch thick. Find a random kitchen implement in your home in the shape of a circle, such as a filter inside a stovetop espresso maker (or a cookie cutter, coffee cup or glass). Use said random implement to cut small circles in your rolled out dough, pressing these into a thin layer along the walls of your 2-inch brownie tin. Re-roll the dough and repeat until all of the dough has been used up. Or until you get tired.

Make sure to prick the bottom and sides of each shell with a fork before baking (a process called "docking") to prevent puffing and blistering of the crust. Bake the pie shells for 20 minutes at 350F. Then, remove the shells, spoon in the cherry filling and bake for an additional 10 minutes.

Throughout the baking process, I found it highly amusing to sing "sweet cherry pie" to the tune of "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond. I don't know many of the words to that song, so I basically just sang the chorus over and over again. I'm sure that didn't annoy Jenn.

Good pies never seemed so good.

Happy Crafting!

Craftertaste Special: Tomatoes

Tomatoes. Aren't they delicious? I mean, compared to their fruit brethren I guess they're actually pretty disgusting. But as a vegetable, the tomato is king.

I prefer to eat them in their purest form: mashed up with sugar and salt in a little something we like to call "ketchup".

Every now and again though, I do eat them au naturel. In this form the tomato faces two main problems. One: its shelf life is significantly shorter than a ketchup packet. Two: it's much more difficult to spread the tomato on other delicious food stuffs (I.e. pizza, pasta, french fries) in its natural state. Especially if you're too lazy to make fresh tomato sauce for yourself (this guy [thumbs]).

My girlfriend's father has the solution. He explained to me that the tomatoes you buy in the store are garbage, chosen mostly for their ability to travel well and NOT for their flavor and texture. I concurred. Then he proceeded to tell me that we would be making jarred plum tomatoes in the traditional Italian style, using bushels of tomatoes fresh delivered from a nearby farm.

"In other words… we're making canned tomatoes? Like Hunts?" I asked. I received a look of disgust that I cannot translate into words. But if I could, it would say something like "there is something wrong with your generation."

So began my education on making Italian tomatoes. First we picked up the necessary (and deceptively heavy) equipment from a friend's basement. Then we swung by to see an older Italian gentleman who was clipping the grass, shirtless, on a riding lawnmower*. I'm not really sure if this was part of the tomato making process, but regardless he was a nice guy. Finally, we assembled the equipment alongside the previously delivered bushels of tomatoes and prepared for our day-long tomato making adventure.

If you don't have the patience to read the whole post, this cartoon should give you the highlights.

Ingredients:
6 bushels of plum tomatoes
Fresh basil leaves
About 140 1 liter mason jars
Blood
Sweat
Tears

Estimated time commitment: the entire day

Why does that cartoon look faded? I'm keeping it "rustica". That's Italian for rustic. I also messed up my usual method and this is was the only way I could save it. Just go with it!

The first stage of the tomato-ing process, I was told, consisted of unpacking the tomatoes from their crates and washing them off with a garden hose. We checked over every tomato by hand, rubbing off loose dirt and grime. A few of the tomatoes had growths and other deformities on them. These, I was told, we're perfectly usable after removing the affected portions with a paring knife. Suffice it to say that I was very generous with my knife strokes for the blighted tomatoes; mold should not be your secret ingredient!

After a good number of tomatoes had been washed, I started up the "cracking" station. I placed three very large pots on the stove and brought water in each to a boil. I then added tomatoes in batches and let them sit in the boiling water for about 10 minutes per batch before removing them with a slatted ladle. The result of their hot tub excursion is that the tomatoes begin separate from their skin, making them easier to peel in the coming step. See the cracks?

After frantically cracking as many tomatoes as possible, I ran batches of piping hot tomatoes outside to a picnic table covered with a table cloth. Here, a number of family members / friends who were convinced (read: coerced) to help out for the day proceeded to handle the piping hot tomatoes and remove the skins by hand. 

If you wait for them to cool off the skin becomes harder to remove, sooo... burning your hands on hot tomatoes it is! Which can have an effect on your disposition after six bushels.

But don't go throwing away the skins just yet! Send these through the tomato mill to squeeze every last ounce of juice and pulp out of them. If you're going to process so many plum tomatoes, you'd better make the most of it!

Next we combined the skin juice with the skinned tomatoes, mashing them up a bit by hand. Then we ladled the tomatoes into mason jars. A LOT of mason jars.

The basil leaf adds a hint of herbal goodness to each aliquot. After all of the tomato mush had been dispensed, we sealed the jars tightly with mason jar lids.

Finally, two extremely large pots were packed to the brim with the mason jars, wedged in tightly with towels to keep them from bouncing around. A hose was connected to a nearby hot water line and each pot was filled to cover the jars. Beneath the jars, huge burners were lit to bring each pot to a boil. Awesome.

But why? Heating the mason jars and allowing them to cool activates the vacuum seal on the mason jar lid. This way, you can keep your jars of fresh tomatoes on the shelf for years! Same red color, same great taste.

Close to being done, it was time to sit back, relax and listen to the soothing sound of tomatoes being boiled in extremely large pots.

We boiled the tomatoes for about 45 minutes, then killed the heat and let the pots cool overnight. The following day, we removed the cooled mason jars and arranged them artistically on the patio table. Final count brought us to over 130 jars!

I hope this batch lasts us until next year. It'll probably take that long for my hands to recover from skinning scalding hot tomatoes.

At least I got a small stash to call my own. I recently tried out some of the jarred goodness in a sauce on top of whole wheat penne. The verdict? Way better than Prego. Who knew!

Thanks to everyone who helped out for including me in a wonderful family tradition. Despite all of my complaining I can assure you that I had a great time!

Until next time, happy crafting!

*Note: Not literary exaggeration.