BLT Chicken Burger

Ahh Memorial Day. The first long weekend of the outdoor season. Time to throw on your stunna' shades, crack open a cold one and fire up the grill.  

This presents a problem for people like me who don't have any outdoor space. Sure I could fight for the use of a coal pit at the local park.  But based on where I live, this sort of altercation would likely result in me getting knifed.

I don't want to be a statistic. I just want a nice, post-modern burger. 

That's why I played it safe this Memorial Day and baked my burger in the oven. Short on grill marks, big on chickeny goodness. 

Enjoy an altercation-free holiday with this upscale BLT chicken burger!

Ingredients:

2 sundried tomato chicken sausages (Al Fresco; it's pre-cooked!)

1/2 cup frozen kale

4 strips of bacon, cooked (crispy!)

1 tbsp extra light olive oil

1/2 vidalia onion

2 corn english muffins

Serves 2, or 1 super hungry person

Time commitment: 30mins

Estimated cost: 12$

I know, I know. Chicken sausage? Again?? Just trust me, okay? Have I steered you wrong so far? (Read: rhetorical).

Hopefully you saved some from those chicken parm bites a couple posts ago ;).

Cut the skin away from the chicken sausage with a paring knife and place chunks of the sausage in a food processor. Add in the olive oil and kale. Take the bacon (cooked on the stovetop until crispy) and crumble two of the strips into the food processor. Pulse chop until the ingredients are combined into a ground beef consistency and the olive oil has coated the mixture.

Take the burger substrate and form into two ~1/3lb patties, i.e. allocate half of the mix per patty. Don't these already look good?

Bake for 15 minutes at 350F, to give them a nice golden brown crisp on the surface. Since the chicken is pre-cooked, no need to worry about doneness.

While the patties are in the oven, toast the corn english muffins (Thomas') and cut thin slices of the vidalia onion for topping the burger.

Assemble the burgers on the muffin buns, topping with an extra slice of bacon each, as well as the onion. A little ketchup or mustard never hurts either!

Although I had a hard time putting this down, I realized the blog could benefit from a more dramatic shot of the burger.

Just ignore the fact that it's half gone already.

Want a more bacon-filled experience? (Read: rhetorical). Substitute the olive oil for a tablespoon of bacon fat. Just spoon it right out of the pan you cooked the bacon in and into the food processor. No, not your mouth, the food processor!

Happy Memorial Day!

Tangy Strawberry Mousse

Hi Everyone!

For Ron Burgandy, milk was a bad choice.

For the rest of us, it is an excellent one. Especially milk with lots of fat content.

Why you ask? Because when you whip it long enough, and mix in some fruit, it becomes a light and airy treat quite suitable for a spring afternoon. Huzzah!

Tantalize your tastebuds with this tangy strawberry mousse.

Ingredients

12 strawberries (tops removed)

Zest from one tangelo

4 tbsp light brown sugar

1 pint heavy cream

1 Chobani cherry greek yogurt (6 oz)

Time commitment: 10min

Estimated cost: 10$

This is basically an overglorified way to eat straight up whipped cream. But am I complaining? Absolutely not.

Use a food processor to combine the strawberries, brown sugar and zest into a loose puree. There can still be small chunks of strawberry floating around; this adds a little bit of texture to contrast the whipped cream.

In a blender (or with a hand mixer (or with a food processor (or with a whisk if you are super buff))) add the heavy whipping cream and process until it becomes solid. You have just created fresh whipped cream! Super easy right?

Quickly spoon the whipped cream into a bowl. Mix the Chobani yogurt (to resuspend the fruit on the bottom) and then fold the yogurt into the whipped cream with a spoon. Add in the strawberry mixture and stir until combined.

You'll want to serve this immediately after preparing it for best results, and keep it cold! Athough the yogurt helps to give the mousse some body, over time (i.e. the next day) the whipped in air will begin to slowly leave the cream, resulting in more of a delicious sludge than a delicious mousse.

Anyway, don't fear! You can always store the leftovers in the fridge and re-blend it later to fluff it up again, good as new. 

Or you can throw the leftover mousse in your ice cream maker... Muahahaha! (More on that this summer).

I served mine in this Irish coffee glass. Mainly to limit my portion size to something only mildly upsetting. This is, after all, about 70% whipped cream. Eat responsibly!

Happy crafting!

No-Sew Fleece Blanket

Grandparents. Perhaps the hardest people on the planet to buy gifts for.

What gift can you get for someone who only ever asks for a phone call once in a while?

Well first of all you can call your grandparents, to alleviate that "I'm a terrible person" feeling.

Then you can give them a handmade gift, so that every time they use it they'll think of their favorite grandchild. Aww.

Maximize your love for g-ma with the no-sew fleece blanket.

Materials:

Two pieces of fleece, 7ft long x 5ft wide

Safety pins

A good pair of scissors

Time commitment: A couple episodes of Chopped

Estimated cost: Depends on the fleece; 40-80$

My mom is the one who showed me how to make these. Thanks Mom! Your mother's day card is in the mail.

Acquiring your fleece pieces is the first step here. Make a run to Joann's Fabrics; they have all of their rolls of fleece arranged by color and print. Just take the fleece rolls you like up to the nice fabrics employee and have them cut the lengths of fleece you desire.

Don't take your scissors into the store and try to cut the fleece yourself. This is generally frowned upon.

I ended up getting one "top fleece" with an interesting print on it, and one "bottom fleece" that is a solid color. But hey, if you really want a fire engine print on one side of the blanket and jungle animals on the other, go crazy.

Drive home. Then, lay the two fleeces on top of one another and align the edges as best you can. Pin them together about five inches inward from each corner and the same distance inward along the edges. Now measure off four inch squares at each corner of the fleece and cut them away with scissors.

This next part is going to sound tedious. That's because it is. Cut strips about one inch wide by four inches long (stretching into the core of the blanket) using a your scissors. To aid you in cutting a consistent length, you can draw a straight line from corner to corner in pencil and cut to that line each time.

After you've destroyed your hand cutting all of those strips, you have now arrived at the "fun part". Take the top strip and complimentary bottom strip and tie them together. Repeat ad nauseam. Two overhand knots per set of strips works best. Just be sure to tie them all in the same direction to keep all the strips of the same color facing in the same direction. If your knots start to bunch up along an edge, firmly pull them apart (fleece is fairly stretchy).

Finally, remove the safety pins. You don't want Grandma rolling around on those!

What can I say? Grandma said she wanted color. At least she won't lose it!

The blanket I made for myself is a little bit more subdued. And also a little bit more Canadian.

Until next time!

Broccoli Slaw

From the sum total of my last few food posts, you might think I subsist on a diet consisting purely of sugar and fat.

And sugar.

But believe it or not I do eat stuff that resides lower down on the food pyramid.

Take for example this delicious broccoli slaw!

Ingredients:

1 head of broccoli, raw

1 tbsp light mayo

1 tbsp horseradish mustard

1 tbsp extra light olive oil (tasting oil)

1/3 bag of salad (a mix with cabbage and carrot slices is preferable)

Salt and pepper (to taste)

Time commitment: veggie time!

Cost: about 6$

I always find restaurant and pre-made coleslaw to be bogged down in mayo. Not so with this broccoli slaw! Nice and hearty dark greens with a kick, and just enough mayo to remind you that you're not vegan.

If you are vegan, please don't include the mayo when you make this. I don't want the vegan police to come a-knockin'.

Cut the head of broccoli into florets. Then combine all of the ingredients in a food processor and pulse chop until the broccoli is a manageable size and the ingredients are thoroughly combined.

Voila! You just made a dish with vegetables in it! I'm so proud of you!

(I'm mostly speaking to myself there, but I'm proud of you too).

See Mom? I actually made it. Use it as a garnish, side dish, or entree. So versatile!

If you dislike veggies, tucking the slaw inside of a pita definitely helps. Or you could just not make this recipe. At least I tried?